For what they’re worth, of course. My thoughts.
I was perusing Facebook in the endless round of social stalking I love slash loathe to engage in, when I came upon an article on a friend’s wall. For reference, here is a link to the article.
I’m sure we’ve all had those nights. I know I have. There’s a certain someone you can’t get out of your head. You wonder about all the things you did, all the things THEY did, and if the relationship you had will ever be yours again. Maybe they’ve moved on to bigger and better things. Maybe you have too. Or maybe you’re sitting around waiting for things to change. Yes, we’ve all had those nights. I can’t even tell you the times I’ve sat and cried and wished things were different.
In my head, with the certain someone who was the hardest for me to tick, I’ve imagined him coasting back into town. He’ll see me somewhere, most likely at work, and something will change on his face. The look he used to give me will slip into place again. The look that said he wanted me. Needed me. Remembered my touch on his skin. Maybe he’ll offer a compliment and ask what I’m doing later. Tell me there are things to be said.
Here’s the problem. The article was beautiful, hitting so many emotional chords. When they come back, don’t take them. When they come back. When.
They don’t come back.
It’s been my experience, and feel free to disagree, but when they leave…they are gone. For good. Forever. No amount of wishing and hoping and praying will give me the opportunity to “not take them back.” It would have been nice to have the opportunity to play at being strong when I didn’t feel it. The best I could do was refuse to look over my shoulder when I walked away. I have a feeling, for the other party, it was much easier. They never looked over their shoulder. Hell, they never even thought of me once they moved on. It’s probably for the best. Better for my heart that HE never came back. None of them did. Perhaps it made me a better person because I didn’t have to play at being strong. I could simply be strong.
What are your thoughts?