Lie in Wait

I would like to go further with this as a short story and find myself experiencing a blockage. Any ideas?


He lay in those arms, slender white bands that held him down even as they comforted. Beneath them sheets bunched and played over their skin like red water.

The room smelled of them, heat and passion hanging in the air with a weight of its own. The weight of the world.

He loved her, he realized after those many sleepless nights wondering about their place together. Was drawn into her in the timeless and inescapable fashion of tide to sandy shore. An intimate and never ending dance where he lost all control. All power.

“Let me go,” he begged.

“I can’t.”




  1. It is quite powerful as it is now, especially the last two lines. Part of me would be sad to see those mixed into the middle of a longer piece, but I think there is clearly some backstory here where she has him enticed nearly to the point of hypnotism. I think if I were to try to expand upon this I would exploit that dynamic. Perhaps there is some reason why he doesn’t want to be with her. Maybe she has hurt him in some way, cheated on him or promised him a certain life together that she never delivered, but he is so drawn to her he is incapable of letting go. Even though her presence in his life hurts him greatly, it also makes him come alive.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.